Sweet Mother of Festivus!

I was hoping to share one more tacky poker gift for the holidays, and I'll be damned if I didn't hit the jackpot with this little tchotchke.

POKER PLAYING CHIMPS
Chimps bluff each other out of chips in this charming ode to fools and their money.
Alabastrite. 9 3/4" x 5 1/4" x 6 1/2" high. $24.95

Target Sucks at Poker

When shopping for the special lady in your life, be sure to stay away from this item at Target.

The cards don’t discriminate. A gal has just as good a chance at getting a straight flush or a full house as a guy does. This classic set celebrates the fact that Poker’s boom in popularity isn’t being fueled solely by men. Made especially for women this sleek colorful case comes packed with 200 8-gram poker chips, deck of cards and 5 dice. Includes instructions for Texas Hold ’Em and a poker ranging sheet. Ladies, the next jackpot is all yours.

• Especially made for women
• 200 2-color 8-gram chips
• Pink felt liner with mirror and removable chip tray
• 1 deck of cards, 5 dice and a dealer chip
• How to Play Texas Hold ’Em instructions and poker ranging sheet

Readers, we don't make this crap up. Worst. Copy. Ever.